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Posts from the ‘The Blend’ Category

Mar 20

Antelope Valley

Start from Scratch

Dear Readers,

This is my 50th post for my blog – I’m extremely proud of myself and want to take a real quick moment to thank every reader, follower, person who clicked, “Like” my friends, family, God, Buddha, Jesus, the angels and animal guides that led me to this moment. OK – animal guides? Yes. I like little critters and one day soon I will tell you about the ducks that literally fell out of the sky at my feet while walking my dog and then waddled off. True. It happened. But this post, story, article, or whatever the right terminology is for the blogosphere, isn’t about the animal guides – it is about starting from scratch – or new beginnings.

My favorite magazine when I was a kid was, World Magazine. It was the kid’s version of, National Geographic – another excellent magazine. My grandparents got me the magazine every year for Christmas. The images in the magazine are what captivated me – same as National Geographic. How amazing those photos are – one shot can capture the soul, the essence, of an entire lifetime of a person. I wanted to be the person that got out in the world and took those pictures. Later, I discovered the book, The Family of Man, and saw another collection of images from around the world. God tapped my chest and said, “Hey, Joanne – get out there and take some pictures.” So I did. And then didn’t. And then did.

And I wrote. I started learning to write by writing letters to friends – lots of letters. The longest letter I wrote was in an entire Mead Composition notebook to my friend, Peggy. Essentially it was a diary of random thoughts streaming from my mind… Oh – my first blog. Haha. But writing has always come naturally to me. My grandfather, father and brothers are all writers – I suppose it’s in our DNA. Putting my photography and my writing together really just seemed and still does seem, like the right thing to do. And lord knows, if I could make a living at doing one or the other – and better… both, I’d be smitten like a kitten.

I was talking to Dad about it this weekend and he said, “Jo – you have to just keep writing. Your readers will eventually tell you what they like and don’t like. You will figure it out – use your sense of humor, just be yourself.” Alrighty, then….

I am taking two course right now from, A Course in Miracles teachers. The first is being taught by Rev. Jennifer Hadley and is called, Masterful Living and the other by Marianne Williamson and is called, The Law of Divine Compensation. I know.. totally rad, right? YES! Both are lifetime game changers – let me tell you. I 100% recommend both of these teachers. Tonight in Marianne’s class, she conducted a guided meditation and WHAM! If God had said, “Hey, Joanne, if I could give you that needed nudge to get you over that edge of fear… the one holding you back from taking more pictures, from writing more, from telling people who you are and how to find your work… what would that look like?” Well, it would look like the enormous gift of the guided meditation we got from, Marianne Williamson today. It would look like being able to hear my teacher, Rev. Jennifer Hadley’s voice in my head today say, “Great question!” It would be like seeing an email from my friend Rosanna signed, “baci, Rosanna.” It would be like getting my daily check-in text from, Joan or remembering to look up and not down when I walk down the hall. These are the nudges I needed – the nudges I can see.

Because folks – I’m not a bad writer or horrible photographer. I’m not the best at either – but I don’t need to be. I just need to know, starting from scratch at the beginning of each day brings fresh beauty and at the end of the day I have warm love.

I need to remember, all there is in life is fear and love. LOVE. It even looks more beautiful than the word, fear.

Here is to starting from scratch each day. Sending love and blessings to each of you.

Namaste,

Joie

Mar 15

Hawk Flying Yosemite
6 Comments

A Dad’s Love

Dear Readers,

Today was a great gay day. I read about two dad’s who told the world they loved their sons – even though their sons are gay. One, Senator Rob Portman who today told the world he has a son who is gay, he loves him and he then switched his views to support gay marriage in the US – very nice job. And the other, a very amazing Dad who wrote an amazing letter to his son telling him he knew he was gay since he was six and has loved him since he was born. The letter was, I’m sure unbeknownst to the Dad, posted for millions of people to see and read. I have to tell you, my heart was grabbed and I got seriously choked up…. like big time.

I remember the day I came out to my dad like it was yesterday, although it was 27 years ago. I was afraid… excited… nervous… and BUSTING with anticipation. I told my Dad within an hour of FINALLY figuring out why I kept getting crushes on all my female teachers. It turns out, this BIG news was not BIG news to anyone but me… and it really was.

I was 19, straight (hah), going to University  and working at the Science Museum of Virginia as an usher for the Beatles laser light show. Although it was an amazing show, and every kid within a 50 mile radius came to drop acid as well as many a stoner came… well, stoned each night, I had seen it so many times I had taken to reading books during show time. I had been getting my latest batch of books from a woman’s bookstore found in the basement of the local food co-op. I know… I thought it was an odd little place to have it as well… but it worked in an earthy crunchy Birkenstock kinda way.

I found out about it because my manager at the museum had taken me aside one day to tell me he thought I might like this bookstore and I may find some books that interest me. Oh? A woman’s bookstore? Whatever could that be? I honestly hadn’t a clue. I was raised in a small Southern town in the 70′s and 80′s. There was little to no gay presence in my life. Ellen and Melissa were yet to come, and gosh – well, the fact that I use the word “gosh” has to tell you how naive I must have been in my youth. I seriously had no idea that a woman’s bookstore had anything in it other than books written by women.

I do love a good Southern writer – find me one without a sharp tongue! You can’t – I’m sure of it. The first time I went to the store, I found a book called, Rubyfruit Jungle, by Rita Mae Brown. The book is about a young girl Molly who is brash, tells like it is, gets in trouble constantly and eventually figures out she is a lesbian. The description on the back of the book cover had no mention of Molly discovering her sexuality. I paid my $4.95, took the book, peddled to work on my cute little red bike, and started to read it while sitting on the floor with a flashlight.

“Oh my God! I’m a lesbian!” That is exactly what I yelled out loud when I got to the part in the book when the character, Molly, figures out she is gay. I literally had no idea and was so relieved. My last 19 years of crushes and lack of crushes, cycled through my head. I could not wait for the show to end so I could leave and call, Dad.

As soon as I got home, I called Dad and blurted out on the phone, “Dad…. guess what?!” He said, “What?” I replied, “Dad! I’m a lesbian.” There was a small pause on the phone and he said, “Oh, thank God. I’m so glad you finally figured it out.” I still laugh when I think about that. He knew. He said he figured it out a long time ago and tried to tell me in the 11th grade but I almost tore his head off when he approached the subject. He asked what I was going to do about it. Oh God… I had no idea. He later said, “Well don’t you think you should go get a girlfriend?”

And that my dear readers is how a Dad, whether he is a Senator, a dad leaving a sweet note for his son, or my amazing Dad, should reply when their child tells them they are gay. Because let me tell you – it’s a scary as hell thing to do. And nothing is more important than loving your child. Nothing.

Namaste,

Joie

Mar 10

Mojave House

Subject Line Says

Dear Readers,

I get the most sensational texts and emails from my sweet kiddo… who is also 14 and a girl – so everything is sensational. Good, bad or ugly, being sensationalized is just the way of life for a teen girl. Last week at work I got an email from her about a new weight loss supplement that Dr. Oz was pitching. I didn’t know she watched, Dr. Oz. 

Subject line: burn fat quicker & more efficiently.

Email: PLEASE can we please get Garcinia Cambogia Extract and become thin and healthy and fit together please. People comment on all of the links and posts about it saying that it worked brilliantly for them and so many good things. The only thing is I’m not sure how expensive it is. I’m sure if it’s expensive that you can find coupons or get a discount because you’re a benefits director. I think this will help us bond too.

OK – I love the part about getting coupons and bonding. Frankly, as much as this kid says she despise me… that’s how much I love her. She is so much fun. I read this email at work and started laughing out loud – bonding over Garcinia Cambogia Extract! I wonder if I can replace this with family therapy? It seems cheaper. $37.98 USD for 60 pills…. That’s like a whole month for less than one therapy session!

Food and I battled for most of 2012. Either I was eating too little or too much. There was probably a day or two all was A-OK. But just a day or two… maybe more. Subsequently, I lost a LOT of weight down to my lowest ever and then added 30 pounds to the low. I kinda liked the lowest ever, although I’m told I looked gaunt. Whatever. I was thin – and I liked being 5′ 11″ and thin!

Other than watching Dr. Oz – my daughter is also a Dr. Phil and Tyra Banks, America’s Next Top Model hard care addict. Man – I’d love to get her on both of those shows! Dr. P can tell her that her ma’ isn’t half bad and Tyra can talk to her about frying her hair with cheap dye… Maybe they can tag team her? Idea worth exploring.

On the weekends, you can hear gut wrencing scream-o metal bands and Tyra Banks, Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz loud (and I mean LOUD) and clear from under her bedroom door all weekend long. Imagine what that combo is like. Haha… sounds like something right out of Oz! Intermittently over the weekend, I get emails from her (from 20 feet down the hallway) about how we should be eating differently (agree), hair product that will make her hair better, shampoo that Tyra uses so you don’t have to take a shower (I really want her to shower…), the ways Tyra says make-up should be applied – and she thinks I should be paying attention to this information… Oh, and many, many fashion tips since my fashion sense is so bad (agree).

I’m a little concerned I’m getting fashion and weight loss tips from Tyra and Dr. Oz via a 14 year old girl from an internet connection 20 feet down the hallway… keeping an eye on that one, for sure. Have to say though, if that kid of mine and I can bond over a bottle of supplements that do no harm and cost less than a therapy session – I’m so on that. Therapy too… oh, and still praying to the good lord little baby Jesus Christ, Buddha, and calling in all those angels. Because although they aren’t helping with burning all this fat off my big fat ass, they do bring me some peace and serenity during each day of raising my sweet kiddo. Thank God for that!

Namaste,

Joie

Mar 7

North Fork Hawk
4 Comments

He Was a Wanderer

Dear Readers,

A few weeks ago, I went to the Yosemite area and visited the little town of North Fork, California – the exact center of California. I know this because of the old sign posted smack in the middle of the road. I figure it must be true – why would a town make the effort to post that in the middle of the road if it wasn’t? I was there because my sweet kiddo was at the California Vipassana Center on a teen meditation retreat learning to…. wait for it… meditate. The entire time she was there, I prayed to the sweet little baby Jesus Christ… and of course Buddha… it was helping her relax. If you have a teen, you know what I’m saying. I was a couple hours early the day I needed to pick her up, so I roamed the back roads, which truthfully all roads are back roads in North Fork, to see what I could see.

I have a few golden rules in life. Never pass up chocolate. If someone asks if you need help changing your flat tire, always say, “You betcha.” There is nothing wrong with choosing the comfortable shoe over the you have to be kidding shoe. And never, ever, leave a stray dog on the side of a road. Sigh… that one can get tricky sometimes – especially if you are 300 miles from home. But a golden rule is a not to be broken.

By now, you can probably imagine where I’m going with this story. I drove fairly slowly down the road so I could crane my neck out the window to see all the wonderful varieties of hawks hanging out in the trees. They were everywhere – each one bigger than the next. Every now and then when I bothered to look straight ahead to make sure no cars were coming my way and my car was still on the road. And then I saw him, a German Shepard wandering smack in the middle of the road. He looked like he had a recent swim in the nearby creek and was panting hard while he just lumbered to… like where?!

Crap! Golden rule time… I don’t often break rules, so I slowed up and pulled over on the side of the road and parked the car in the ditch. My “Caution Will Robinson” light went off. What is he was rabid, had a crap-ass day, or was just mean? I decided to just roll down my window and check him out since clearly he wanted to check me out as he was fogging up my window with hot sticky dog breath. He had a great smile on his face, super white teeth and his butt was wagging ferociously – out I went.

While he was licking my pants and taking slurps of water from a Starbucks cup, we talked about where he might have come from, what I could possibly do with him and where we might go to find his home. Oh yeah, and how to get there? Walk or go in my not-so-clean, but for sure not-so-smelly with wet dog, car? Just then, I heard a whistle and a person shouting! Yeah! That must be home! The dog and I decided to walk and left the car on the side of the road. We walked back in the direction from where he came, towards the whistle. OK – I decided, but he agreed with almost everything I suggested.

We walked on the side of the road for about a mile, chatting about things like not walking in the middle of the road, getting a nice collar, if he had a girlfriend, where his dad was… you know, stuff that was important. Every now and then the dog, let’s call him Jack, walked to the right and into the road and I’d have to chase after him and bring him back. But Jack was a great dog – the kind I’d want to have. He sat when I told him to, “Sit.” He came when I told him to, “Come.” And he laid down when I said, “There’s a car…”

Eventually we found two gates – one on the left side of the road and one on the right side. And the whistling! Lordie… it was a rooster. I had been walking towards a rooster. But where there is a rooster, are people – so I tried to lift barbed wire and get sweet Jack to crawl under the fence on the left but he had zero interest. He looked at me, crossed the road before I could stop him, and slipped right under the fence to the right – where he had been trying to go all along. Damn! He lived there. I was a little bummed we had to say good-bye, but he walked with me for a little ways on the other side of the fence and then was gone.

I heard something behind me and turned – there he was, lumbering along. Obviously we weren’t done with our walk. I bent down and rubbed his ears and told him it was time to go home. He turned and slipped back under the fence and trotted over the a massively huge green hill. The kind you see in, The Sound of Music. He stopped at the top of hill to look at me, I waved, and then he disappeared.

Every now and then I think about that journey with, Jack. Someone said that Jack was my guardian angel walking beside me. Good one. Who knows? I know I enjoyed getting out of the car and taking a walk on the back roads of North Fork with a lumbering German Shepard. It’s good not to break golden rules and even better to take walks in the sun with friends – even if they do lick your pants and drink all your water.

Namaste,

Joie     

Jan 13

DC CA Poppies w Others

I Used Pledge

Dear Readers,

I remember it like it was yesterday – my first record album was given to me for my 14th birthday – a Cher album that had a song on it about eating crackers in bed. I don’t remember the name of the album, but I remember how incredibly happy I was to have my very own shiny black disc… soon to gather dust. The thrill of having the album faded after realizing I had nothing else to listen to and I was getting bored of Cher (gasp!). Eventually I abandoned Cher and left her laying on the turn table, patiently waiting for me to spin her round again. Enough days passed, maybe even weeks, for a thin layer of dust to have gathered on my shiny black disc – so… what do you do when dust gathers? Well, I was in charge of dusting the house at 14 years old – I got the Pledge and a dust rag and wiped it away! Yeah… not so much. My dad walked in on me while I was carefully making Cher sparkle more than she already did – or does – and said, “Oh my god – what are you doing?!” I got a stern lecture about grooves, wax, dust jackets, putting my things away and to stop being a knuckle head. Oh yeah, and to never EVER touch any of his records.

It’s interesting how we do things we think make perfectt logical sense at the time, only later to find out it was the most absurd way of handling a situation… or comical, quizzical, or maybe just different. I guess it’s how we learn. Right? When we do these things generally we have to stumble and maybe fall – and hopefully get back up and move forward. I think about this path I’m on now that I keep referring to as my new spiritual path and realized today – it’s not new. I’ve been on it all of my life. I’m just becoming aware of it in a much bigger way. I was at a service today led by Jesse Brune and Jennifer Hadley and Jesse shared something he learned from Jennifer. Essentially he said the only thing we should be concerned about being successful at is our spiritual growth. I totally get that. If our connection to our higher power grows – everything else really will just fall in line. Won’t it? I believe it will. And that higher power can be whatever you call it – God, Buddha, Allah, or any other name that resonates with you. For me, it’s usually just, “God.”

I was at peace today. I don’t know where my path is leading me and know each day will show me new challenges – but I’m good because each day I know I’m better equipped to take on those challenges because I have people in my life who are also more aware of their spiritual paths. Those paths don’t include preaching hell and damnation; they don’t include judging; they don’t include manipulations and greed. They simply include the process of giving and receiving love and sharing a positive flow of energy.

Namaste,

Joie

 

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